Oh, dear... How to I even begin to explain this one? Well, it started out as a caffeine-induced mailing list discussion about what type of underwear the characters wear. Then... then I'm not sure what happened, but I ended up with this.

From the case files of Emma Fee, Prog Censor:

(Sometime before it all began...)
[Bob] Hey, Dot, you wanna go get an energy shake?
[Dot] Sure, I'd--
[Emma] She can't.
[Dot] I can't?
[Emma] No.
[Dot] Why can't I?
[Emma] Orders just came in from BSnP. You have to go to shopping for new... unmentionables.
[Dot] Unmentionables?
[Bob] What are unmentionables?
[Emma] If I could tell you, they wouldn't be unmentionables, would they?
(Bob looks to Dot, who just shrugs.)
[Emma] Oh, for User's sake...
(Emma climbs up on a chair so she can whisper to Dot without Bob overhearing)
[Dot] (after Emma has explained) Oh! I'm supposed to go bra shopping?
[Emma] Really, Ms. Matrix! Such language!
[Dot] All I said was "bra"...
[Emma] (gasps) And if you say that filthy word one more time, I'll have no choice but to report you!
[Dot] Fine, fine. But why do I have to go shopping? I don't need any new... unmentionables.
[Emma] According to BSnP, you do. We can't have children seeing you walk around looking like you're female!
[Dot] But I--
[Emma] There's no arguing with BSnP, missy! Now, let's go down to the mall and pick you out something uncomfortable and oddly shaped. If we hurry, we might even be able to find something that makes you so unnatural-looking even you won't believe it!
[Dot] (unenthusiastically) Goody.
[Bob] Hey, while you're out shopping, will you do me a favor?
[Dot] Okay. At least some good can come out of this.
[Bob] My stuff from the Super Computer hasn't arrived yet. The moving company lost it somewhere between here and the Web. I'm sure they'll have it back any time now, but I could really use a couple of packs of new underwear until then...
[Dot] No problem. Do you want boxers or briefs?
[Emma] (shocked) I don't think anyone's interested in knowing the answer to that question!
[Bob] (to Dot) I know I'm new in this system, but it seems to me that maybe this BSnP thing is a tad inhibiting.
[Dot] (sighing) No kidding. And you're not even the one who has to have Emma escort you through the lingerie department.
(Emma gasps once more, and faints.)
[Bob] Did she do that just because you said "lingerie"?
[Dot] Just don't tell her we're all walking around naked underneath our clothes. You'd kill her.
 

AND NOW: Yet another brain spasm that originally appeared on the ReBoot mailing list.

>From: TiGRiS010@*****.com
>Y'know, Frisket is naked under those. . .Hey, wait a nano. . .OH USER!!
>:shields eyes:

So now it comes out... the truth of why ReBoot was cancelled... It wasn't about ratings, money, or the evils of Disney. It was all about one naked dog.

From the case files of Emma Fee, Prog Censor:

Once upon a time...
[anonymous network exec] I have to speak to you about this... (checks notes)..."Frisket" character.
[anonymous ReBoot producer] Yes, what about him?
[n.e.] It has come to my attention via a Miss Emma Fee that this character is walking around the show... naked.
[r.p.] He's a dog.
[n.e.] Is he a naked dog?
[r.p.] Yes, I suppose, but--
[n.e.] Then it's just as Miss Fee said. This is completely unacceptable for a children's program on our network.
[r.p.] But he's a DOG.
[n.e.] All the same, we can't have the little kiddies-- well, the little kiddies' parents' protest groups-- see material such as this.
[r.p.] We gave you the monobreast! What more do you want from us!?
[n.e.] Couldn't you just take your little magic marker there and draw a pair of shorts on him?
[r.p.] (sighing) First of all, this is a computer animated show. Second, HE'S A DOG!!!
[n.e.] Well! You can just consider yourself cancelled then! (storms off)

Ah, censorship... Ain't it grand?

(back)

Written by MG from a minor glitch.
Inspired by ReBoot from Mainframe Entertainment.
Read by ReBoot geeks from who-knows-where!