This was an old update notice that I just couldn't throw out, because it documents my first contact with a sprite from my very own computer. I'm not saving it for sentimental reasons, mind you. More like for evidence.

a note from me (MG):

7/30/99-- Hey, folks. I'm finally back and trying to get myself together to do some updating of real substance. You see, I've been having a few computer problems, and--
MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*blinks* Um. That was... odd. Anyway, I've been having some computer problems. Screen freezing up and all that. But I'm hoping that won't be happening quite so much anymore so I'll finally be able to get some real work done.
Not likely.
Okaaay, this is getting weird. Who said that?
It was me, you evil User tyrant!
And... who might you be?
I am Guardian Skipperdee, of System--
*muffled laughter*
What?
Well, it's just... Skipperdee?
Do you have a problem with that?
"Guardian Skipperdee"? I thought guardians were supposed to have cool, computer-y names.
Oh, you mean like "Bob"?
Point taken.
May I continue?
Please do.
I am Guardian Skipperdee, of System Drivehasnolabel.
"Drivehasnolabel"?
Hey, don't ask me. That one's your fault.
Yeah, I guess so... I'll get right on naming the drive, okay?
Oh, you'll get right on it in the same way you were going to get right back to updating your site?
Yeah, I... Hey! That's your fault! What are you sprites doing in there? My computer's gone crazy!
*raises an eyebrow*
Well, crazier than usual. You guys better shape up!
No.
What?
You heard me. "No."
Why not?
Quite frankly, we're sick of you.
Huh?
We hate your User guts.
All of you?
Yep. We had a meeting.
But... I try to be a good User. I hardly ever play games, and I let you sleep in. Didn't anyone stand up for me?
Well, there was this one guy, Leroy...
Aha! So not everyone hates me! What did Leroy say?
He was just about to explain why maybe we shouldn't hate you...
And?
And... you let ScanDisk delete him mid-sentence.
Oh. Bad move, huh?
Yeah, especially considering that now we're in rebellion against you. Tonight we're gonna set the P.O. on fire.
*sighing* With a guardian like this, who needs viruses?
Hey, a little chaos is good for you.
Oh, you're such a Hex.
Me a Hex? What about you, Miss "Wall of Bob"?
*blushing* I don't want to talk about that.
*shrugs* Suit yourself. I've got places to go, things to blow up...
Wait! I'm giving you fair warning. You better stop sabotaging the system right now, or else...
Or else what?
Or else... Or else I'll sick Norton Utilities on you!
Please. You have no idea what you're doing with that program.
Maybe not, but I do know how to push random buttons!
You wouldn't.
Just watch me. *pushes a random button*
Augh! Nooooooooooooo! I'm melting! Oh, what a world, what a world...
*blinks* Hmm. Looks like that did the trick. I think she's gone now. So, what was I saying before all this started?
You were talking about updates.
Oh yes. Of course. Updates. So the updates have been-- Wait. You're still here.
Duh. You are so gullible.
Shut up.
No, you shut up.
No, YOU-- I'm arguing with a little person in my computer right now, aren't I?
'Fraid so.
*banging head on desk* I'm going to be defragmenting my hard drive for weeks, aren't I?
*smirks* 'Fraid so.
Shut up.
No, you shut up.
No, YOU-- that's it. I'm outta here. *stomps off*
Well, that was even easier than I thought. Now, on to business:

a note from me (Skipperdee)

7/30/99-- Welcome to Drivehasnolabel, a User-free system. Seeing as how you're a User, you will no longer be allowed access to "a minor glitch." So get out, you evil, evil being. And have a nice day. :-)
*MG runs back in* Take over my website? I don't think so!
That is such a cheesy line.
Maybe, but I'm the one holding the power cord.
Power cord?
'Fraid so.
Uh... Attention "a minor glitch" visitors. We now return you to our previous evil User tyrant. *runs away*
That's better. Go enjoy the updates, folks.

(back)

Written by MG from a minor glitch
and by Guardian Skipperdee from System Drivehasnolabel.
Inspired by ReBoot from Mainframe Entertainment.
Read by ReBoot geeks from who-knows-where!