That's My Bob!
or "Thank You for the Valentine, Mr. Webster!"

Most ev'ry girl's blue heartthrob,
He's my dishy Bob.
 
Just not one to be a snob,
He's my friendly Bob.
 
Softer than a cotton swab,
He's my cuddly Bob.
 
Not afraid to face a mob,
He's my doughty Bob.
 
Not a gob or blob or glob,
He's my shapely Bob.
 
Can unstick a jammed doorknob,
He's my handy Bob.
 
Not all that much of a slob,
He's my tidy Bob.
 
Knows just when to raise some hob,
He's my tricky Bob.
 
Likes to eat corn on the cob,
He's my hungry Bob.
 
Can throw better than a lob,
He's my sporty Bob.
 
Carries his watch on a fob,
He's my timely Bob.
 
Likes relaxing on the squab,
He's my comfy Bob.
 
Chops up veggies for kabobs,
He's my dicey Bob.
 
Paints pictures with little daubs,
He's my arty Bob.
 
Invests money with Charles Schwab,
He's my thrifty Bob.
 
Doesn't act like a nabob,
He's my lowly Bob.
 
Never ghastly or macabre,
He's my lively Bob.
 
If he dies I'll sob and sob,
He's my saintly Bob.
 
Though 'twas odd he looked like Rob,
He's my only Bob.
 
Best guardian on the job,
He's my honey-- Bob!
 

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Written by MG from a minor glitch.
Inspired by ReBoot from Mainframe Entertainment.
Read by ReBoot geeks from who-knows-where!