Excerpts from the evil that is
MG's Notebook

Anything here may have been thought of at 3 a.m. while dancing around my kitchen during a freaky individually-wrapped-American-cheese-slice high. Do not believe a word I say.

[YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO KNOW | GLITCHISMS | STUPID RANDOM THOUGHTS & OBSERVATIONS | SON OF BOOT | THOUGHTS ON... ]

YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO KNOW
Odd Secrets of Mainframe

• Bob was bald during the first two seasons. During that time his "hair" came from a can. It was only after being exposed to the harsh Web environment that he grew real hair. Bob is now president of the Web Hair Club for Sprites®.
   
• Dot's headset actually has nothing to do with being Command.com. It's really there because her hobby is telemarketing. (Listen closely to the next call you get asking you to change your long distance carrier!)
   
• Ray has no sense of smell. You see, since sprites have no nostrils, they rely on their ears to detect odors. But Ray has no ears. It's sad, really. (Especially if you have to stand next to him, 'cause this guy has no clue when to take a shower.)
   
• Mouse's hair is actually on fire. Sure, she tried to get someone to help her put it out at first, but with that mangled accent no one could understand her cries for help. Eventually she just learned to live with the burning, seething pain and occasionally enjoyed the fun of making s'mores on her head.
   

GLITCHISMS
Don't look at me, I don't know why I do this either...

• a Glitch in time saves nine
• son of a Glitch
• The Blair Glitch Project
• if you've got a Glitch, scratch it
• perfect Glitch
• Glitch-hitter
• Wicked Glitch of the West
• went off without a Glitch
• Glitchie Glitch, the poor little Glitch boy
• throw ze Glitch!
• I wanna be Glitch
• a last Glitch effort
• an effective sales Glitch

STUPID RANDOM THOUGHTS & OBSERVATIONS
Well, duh...

• Do they buy donuts from Tim Norton's? Y'know... 'cause they're in a computer... and the show's made in Canada... See? Tim Norton's. Get it? Oh, I give up.
   
• If all it took to make the whole system dumber was Enzo going into the clockspeed room and asking to become smarter than everyone else, why don't the Mainframers talk someone into going into the clockspeed room and asking to become dumber than everyone else-- thereby making the whole system smarter? Ya dig?
   
• HHGTTG fans: Didja ever notice that if you count the "episode 0" that's part of the PlayStation game and the two IMAX ridefilms, there are exactly 42 episodes of ReBoot? [As of season 3.] Ooh, creepy... almost. Kinda. Okay, not really. Just pretend you care.
   
• People who love Bob... well, they love Bob. People who feel the need to destroy Bob are just expressing one side of their deeper Hex-like obsession with Bob, whether they'll admit it or not. People who act indifferent toward Bob are just suffering from season-1-and-2-Dot-I-really-love-him-but-no-way-I'm-telling-him-so-itis. Everybody loves Bob.
   
• Toy manufacturers must love Hack & Slash-- they're exactly the same everytime, except for the different colors of plastic used to mold them. And yet, one's action figure collection feels horribly incomplete until both Hack & Slash have been purchased.
   
• The newer mold used to make the heads of Bob action figures is supposed to be more realistic, but I don't really like it. His mouth's dropped open as if he's just been pummeled a bit. Of course, the stupid gaping look would go well with the Talent Night Dot action figure...
   
• Lookee! In A League of Their Own, the lead character is named Dottie, and her husband's name is Bob! And Bob was gone, and Dottie didn't know if she'd ever see him again, and... *sniffle* Okay, I'm gonna snap out of it now. Really. But come on, you must have realized I have Bob issues from the moment you arrived at this site.
   
• Okay, Cartoon Network really needs to make a ReBoot promo where they smack their logo onto the black and white checkerboard pattern of the Dot's Diner sign. It's too perfect not to.
   
• Look, I've mentioned this before, and I will again. You know the scene in System Crash with Bob in the system core? Well, it distinctly reminds me of the Muppet Babies episode where they're in the earth's core. You know, the one where Fozzie's lost his skate key. (Oh, stop laughing! I happen to love the Muppets!)
   
• In Maxine's ReBoot cameo, she mentions "the known Net." So what's the unknown Net? If the unknown Net is unknown, how do they know it exists? Because if it's unknown, why assume it's there at all? And if you don't assume it's there, why mention "the known Net"? And how does one know when one has crossed some sort of line to go from ReBoot fan to rambling psychotic? Huh? I ask you!
   
• Eep! Have you seen Mya? She's Motorola's new computerized blonde, and she's supposed to read the web to you. Maybe she's Ray's "bookish" cousin!
   

SON OF BOOT
Notes to myself in case I ever talk myself into writing about the child of a ReBoot couple. 'Cept I don't see that happening anytime soon seeing as how I had this Rosemary's Baby/ReBoot cross-over dream which worked so well it was creepy and I don't want to be sitting there happily writing a story and then suddenly have Dot take a big bite of raw liver and... eww... I'm gonna stop describing the "Son of Boot" section now.

• Forget "sprite genetics." All children of ReBoot couples shall be puce with pearlescent chartreuse hair. So it has been foretold, so it will be written.
   
• Twins? Please. AndrAIa will bear quadruplets on the same day Dot has septuplets. Then Matrix will give birth to triplets just to even up the score. Not to be outdone, Mouse and Ray will adopt an entire third world system.
   
• Maybe data sprites just don't have moms. I don't know exactly how it would work without mothers, either, but they've never actually mentioned any.
   

THOUGHTS ON...
...Whatever ReBoot ep I happened to have a notepad out during. (This is a rare thing for me to bother typing up, so don't expect much.)

The Edge of Beyond

• MATRIX: Take care of her for me.
  ME: Aww, maybe he's not so bad-- worrying about AndrAIa like that.
  MATRIX: Out there she'll degrade.
  ME: Oh. He meant the gun. Of course. What was I thinking?
   
• Since when does AndrAIa's trident have a harpoon mode? I mean, it's cool and all, but since when?
   
• MATRIX CHARACTER FAULT #304: Not acknowledging anyone's value to him until they're lost/presumed dead.
   
• I think I like Mr. Andrews. He's kinda cool-- especially the way he doesn't have a mouth. Just a mustache that moves when he talks. He may finally be my favorite among the Saucy Mare crew. Not totally sure yet, though. Applications are still being accepted.
   
• One of those binomes I assumed was a girl has a rather... masculine voice. (And no, I don't mean Bula.)
   
• I totally think Ray and Andi knew each other in another life. Anyone else pick up major Luke & Leia vibes from those two? Fine. Don't believe me.
   
• This episode may contain the one Matrix & AndrAIa kiss that doesn't make me want to vomit. Y'know, the little kiss on the cheek while Andi's in a coma. Not that I enjoy it, it just has acceptably low levels of disturbingness. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that the camera isn't practically inside their mouths for a change.
   
• They can make shielding for the ship and shielding for Matrix, but they can't make shielding for Gun? How... convenient.
   

And to think, this isn't even the worst stuff...

(back)

Written by MG from a minor glitch.
Inspired by ReBoot from Mainframe Entertainment.
Read by ReBoot geeks from who-knows-where!